Why you should NEVER eat maraschino cherries...

I learned today why maraschino cherries are so disgusting. Let me first say that I have NEVER enjoyed maraschino cherries. "Why," I thought to myself, "would anyone purposefully do that to a cherry? I mean cherries are delicious and that is just...ugghh." Let's face it, you might as well top a desert with a piece of poo, and after this, you may agree with me.

My kiddies and I went on a field trip today to the Big Red Barn and Mountainland Apples in Santaquin. It was a lovely day. We rode a hayride through fruit orchards out to a pumpkin patch where the girls each carefully chose the perfect pumpkin to cut open, gut, and carve into disturbing shapes for All Hallow's Eve. And there was a cider doughnut thrown in to boot. But, I digress...

The first activity of the day was a Short lecture about how the fruit is grown, harvested and picked. At the end of the cherry explanation, some woman raised her hand to asked how maraschino cherries are grown. Are grown?! Are you kidding me? She can't honestly believe those are grown! OK, well, technically, they are grown...but, I digress.

The farmer-turned-lecturer said, "Well, those ain't grown, they're made. We don't do that here...I can tell ya how those 'r made, but you ain't gonna wanna eat 'em after that." As if anyone in their right mind did want to eat them before that. Come on. I digress...

"Well, maraschino cherries are sweet cherries that are picked and then they are dumped into a vat of bleach. It's a brine, really, of bleach."

The woman: "Bleach? Isn't that toxic?"

Farmer/lecturer: "Well, yeah, I mean it is bleach. Sure it's toxic."

I knew there was something inherently dangerous about maraschino cherries.

"So, after they sit in the bleach fer a while, they get all white and lose all their flavor, 'cause they're bleached, y'know? Well, then they put 'em in another vat and cook 'em with high fructose corn syrup and color and flavor and stuff."

Gross.

"That's what a maraschino cherry is. We don't make 'em here."

Well hallelujah Mountainland! More power to you! Can you imagine my distress when I found online that many maraschino cherries are made from Queen Anne or Rainier cherries?! What?! Have you TASTED a Queen Anne or Rainier cherry?

And people (supposedly in their right minds) are taking those delectable morsels from heaven and bleaching them into a white NOTHING and then filling them with high fructose corn syrup, almond flavoring, and red #2?! What is wrong with these people? Honestly.

On the upside, The Big Red Barn and the Mountainland tour and hayride was a lovely diversion and the kids had a ball. But, I digress...

Maraschino cherries...not in MY pantry, and now--I hope--not in yours.